I f***ing love playing Castille

I love Castille. I love Aragon. I love Spain. Portugal can leave Iberia to me. I take exploration first idea and expansion second idea EVERY TIME. If I don’t get Isabella, I reload.

I love having 30 different colonial nations and stacking Vassal land limit modifier. I have a merchant in every trade node with left over merchants. I love vassalizing Brittany from France, they take exploration don’t ya know? I love releasing Leon from my own territory. Didn’t you know they take exploration EVERY TIME, their like me! Scotland takes exploration. I’d like to vassalize scotland. I love forming spain as Aragon and getting Castille’s colonial nations. I LOVE not even playing the game as the vassal swarms of new world troops march across Anatolia. I don’t even know what trade steering is. I only care about the Send Settler button.

My friend convinced me to play Muscovy. I no cb’d my way to Brittany. Have you ever seen the Vassal Limit Contribution buffs stacked on Russia? I hadn’t. I didn’t even use them. I just let my New World troops booty twerk across India while I manhandled the hamcandle.

I live for colonial efforts. When they made more New World tags, I lamented for there were fewer provinces I could use the Send Settler button on. Conquest is not colonization. Speaking of the word Conquest. I turned off Conquest of Paradise. It’s dumb. Who wants to play as luddite savages who can’t hardly form colonial nations and stack the Vassal Limit Contribution modifier. It makes colonization harder, they form big coalitions. Whatever, it’s dumb, their dumb.

I want to play in Spain. I don’t want to play in Anatolia. I don’t want to form Rome. I wouldn’t even play a custom nation with a big colonial dick. I don’t want to play in America. That’s why I have Colonial Nations. I F****ing love playing Spain. I get cannons and shoot heathens, natives and hit Blue Buttons.