now by no means am i GAY but Holy shit jschlatt is so hot. look at those big clean trimmed chops, and that glorious hair, and the voice,, oh god his soothing voice he is so perfect. the king he is and the king he always will be. he has the jawline of a king. a hot king. and kings are always hot. i mean its just a theory a game theory but its a pretty based theory. hes so funny too. i love his sense of humor. jschlatt is the hottest and funniest racially insensitive person ive ever seen. i wish he could insult me just so i can get his attention. i watch all his videos. i have notifications on for his youtube, and for the weeklyslap, and for his twitter, as well as his alt. if he tweets, im the first to like it. if he posts on youtube, im the first to comment. if he would ever stream again, i would be the first to subscribe to him. i have his socialblade sub count open 24/7. my desktop background is always jschlatt. i rotate pictures every day. i think of him while eating, i think of him while gaming, i even think of him while shitting. he always appears in my dreams, as my savior, my prince in shining armor. my schlatt never gets canceled. he can say whatever he wants, i wont even be listening because im so distracted by his perfectly carved face, and his pleasurable voice. and his eyes. the way he stares at the camera. its like we connect on a personal level. the way he stares into my soul with that cold grim gaze, it makes me feel sensations ive never felt before. from the moment i first heard his voice over that shitty microphone, i knew he had to be hot. theres no way a man with that sublime voice and that incredible sense of humor wasnt heart-throbbingly attractive. i know he is and will always be the best guy on youtube. no one else can ever come close to the fiery sense of perfectness that schlatt has embodied. schlatt is the man of my dreams.

if i were gay. which im not.