Am i crazy for being sexually attracted to frying pans?

So this all started when i was around 9 years old and my beloved dick was short and couldn’t make tadpoles, one day my mother called for me in the kitchen and as soon as i saw that jucy hot and horny frying pan squiting its fluids around the kitchen i instantly fell in love. A little later i decided to take the pan and fill it with the “deep frying oil” i didnt know what that was at the time. I started to fuck it hard, oil was flying everywhere and i finished in about 10 seconds. My mother walked in like a jerk and saw me on the floor naked, covered in oil and pee. She screamed and i took that as a rating, I could tell that i was pretty bad at having sex so i kept practicing every day. Now when i was about 13 years old i noticed that i started to make the 4 year old oil alot whiter than usual, i knew the pan needed medical attention ASAP so i put it on the stove and heated it up. It started fuming bad and it was giving off smells that made me horny so i decided to fuck the pan REALLY HARD, as soon as it started boiling the oil, i climbed up on the stove and i would have had a very long session but after around 6 minutes my mother walked in, simply fainted and didnt speak. I think she was overwhelmed by the beautiful sight of me finally having a grill friend so i kept going until i eventually finished in about 14 minutes in total. When my mother woke up she didnt remember anything and started screamingas soon as she saw the kitchen. I went to look and oh the fuck no my beloved love was on fire, turned out i left the stove on, i wanted to have one last go so i got naked just find my balls crispy, slowly turning purple. I woke up in the hospital and i found out my love was saved from the fire, just needed some new oil. But i was thrilled to find out that im a girl now as my penis was gone, I sued the hospital and everyone ruled aganst me. Now im depressed and crying on the floor, i cant live without you, my love!