9:30 AM. The fourth history group is going up, ready to present about Operation Barbarossa. Joshua licks his lips. He knows that his absolutely massive brainpower could not be outmatched. As such, he would be able to tack on his knowledge to every single slide the group presented. Today, however, was different. David eyed Joshua from across the room. He was sick and tired of someone other than him getting the class spotlight. If they were to focus on anyone, it should be him, as he flexes his 30 Petabyte server sitting in his backpack. The group is finishing their first slide. Joshua’s hand shoots up, easily breaking Mach 3. A smirk starts to form on his face. They don’t even know that Hitler is racist. The group calls on him, naturally. Time to educate these peasants. “You know, Hitler was racist.” David snaps. “Enough is ENOUGH!” Voice level: 95 dB. His voice is shouting, easily heard from 2-3 rooms down. Jack, who sits right next to David, backs away in anticipation of further shouting. “I have HAD IT with your interruptions. Let the people speak! Or better yet, listen to me! Check out this meme from 2006!” David reaches for his iPhone 16F. Joshua had to respond, and fast. He had about 1.7 seconds before David could find his phone amidst his 37 NVIDIA GPUs sitting on his desk. “Think…THIIINK!” Every part of Joshua’s brain was now active. Even the cerebellum, usually focused on balance and motor skills, was now, along with the four major lobes of the brain, working furiously to rebut David. If David pulled out his meme before the rebuttal, the overwhelmingly obliterating cringe of it would seal Joshua’s fate forever. “BRAIN BLAST!” Joshua had done it. With this, even a 400 IQ superhuman could not form a comeback. “If you don’t like interruptions, why did you interrupt me?” David stopped dead in his tracks. The class was now in favor of Joshua, who had successfully prevented the comet of cringe from landing. Now, what could he do? Then it hit him. This was a trap. If he answered the way he truly felt, Joshua would fire back with something so big brain, David wouldn’t be permitted to speak for the rest of his life. He had to rely on brute force. “BECAUSE YOU’RE DUMB!” Voice level: 145 dB. His voice echoed throughout the school, shaking lights and shattering glass. Jack was right to back up, as the people at David’s table immediately collapsed, David’s voice penetrating their ears and shaking their brain until seizure. Because of the directional nature of David’s voice, Joshua should face serious damage, even at that range. The sound easily burst his eardrums, but he once again acted quickly. He normalized the pressure inside his ears, insulating against the sound. But it was too late. All Joshua could hear now was a ring, his eardrums no longer functional. Now, all David had to do was finish off Joshua with one last sentence, and he was toast, unable to rebut because he was now deaf. Joshua knew this. He had to get serious. Joshua activated every single nerve in his body. His entire nervous system was now undergoing action potential. As a result, he started to enter the anatomical position. The energy Joshua released as heat as a result was enormous, so much so that even David, the man who could wear shorts in the winter, was impressed. “If anyone is dumb, it’s YOU!” The students who could still hear all pogged in chat. David was thoroughly in a bind. What could he do, without sounding unoriginal or, god forsake it, retarded? All he could do is ram through again with brute force. It didn’t matter what he said, because as long as he played it off right, Joshua couldn’t rebut. “No U!” Voice level: 260 dB. The school’s walls collapsed and the power went out as numerous power lines snapped from David’s screech. The North American Plate shifted, causing a quasi-earthquake throughout the east coast. This was his limit; David’s voice couldn’t get any louder. He just hoped that this was the end of Joshua. But Joshua wouldn’t give up that easily. He needed to win. It was his duty, as the smartest person in the school, to put this peasant in his place. He had to go further. He successfully read David’s lips and prepared his counterattack. He began to expel heat en masse, regulating his internal vapor pressure simultaneously. Almost there…almost there. THUD. His bones entered all three states at once. He did it. The triple point configuration had been reached. Joshua inhaled as hard as he could, as when he spoke, any gas he inhaled would immediately turn to plasma. This was the end. Just then, something unforeseeable happened. A step hit the ground between David and Joshua, so powerful that they both stepped back reflexively. A man had come between them, more powerful than both of them had ever seen before. It was Mr. Green. Sooner or later, he was bound to intervene, but they didn’t expect him to withstand their attacks. He loomed over both of them, staring through to their souls, and uttered two words. “Who asked?” Joshua combusted, unable to maintain his vapor pressure any longer, and David collapsed to the floor, electrocuted by his very own GPUs which malfunctioned upon that utterance. The battle was over. The GPA Assassin had won.