Well, um excuse me sir or madam but I actually happen to have you tagged as an SJW. Do you know what that means? It stands for Feminist Cringe Compilation. I learned the term from my hero, Sir Jordan B. Peterson esquire, and I am hardly surprised to see you would mock my sexuality (I happen to be a heterosexual gentleman).

If you do not cease to mock my sexuality then I suppose I will have to accuse you of heterophobia, which is a very real issue that affects dozens of people each year. For example, I was once not invited to a gay bar. After enquiring to my work colleagues why I was excluded from this activity, I was informed that “we just didn’t think it was your kind of thing.”

That may be the case, (I wouldn’t want to be touched on the penis by a homosexual), but I was still excluded and this will certainly be added to my list of hate crimes against people like me who have to suffer such indignities once or twice every few years.

Please refrain from engaging in this kind of bigotry in the future, or else I will have to tell everyone on the JPlife forum about your SJW inclinations.

Yours sincerely, a heterosexual (sorry if that word hurts your feelings, SJW)