I love Spongebob, as people might know, but you know what else? I have a CRUSH on SpongeBob, yes, I love his beautiful blue eyes, his Square-shaped body, and his sexy ass clothes. I wish he was real so I can kiss him and maybe eat out at the Krusty Krab, so I can also make Sandy jealous.

And someday, I will dream of being married to him, ahh…