A cashier wished me a merry Christmas today. I grabbed him by the shirt collar and yelled “What the fuck did you just say to me? I celebrate (((Kwanzakah))) winter solstice, motherfucker.” I demanded to speak to his manager. The transgender manager fired his privileged-Christian ass right on the spot. The other employees proceeded to spit on him and yelled “crucify him.” We grabbed pallets from the back and made a cross. We forced him to carry it all the way home, his head adorned with a crown of thorns as we flagellated him. Little shit fell twice on the way. When we got to his house we found some cardboard and wrote “Chud Floridae, rex in dextro cornu” on it. We put him on the cross with the piece of cardboard on his neck. Being good KKK-founding Democrats, we lit the cross on fire as he screamed “Donald, Donald, lama sabachthani.”