What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know that you have to have a very high IQ to provide players with a sense of accomplishment, and the unlocks are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of selecting initial values based upon data from the Open Beta, Battlefront 2 will go over a typical gamers head. I am trained in public relations and I’m the top community manager for EA. You are nothing to me but just a typical butthurt consumer that doesn’t understand the game’s philosophy draws heavily from per-player average credit earn rates. I will take your advice to consideration, disregard it, and bombard you with more targeted microtansactions, the precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think that we don’t appreciate your inputs, and attempt to make constant adjustments just so we can get to your wallet make you happy? Think again, fucker. As we speak the EA executives and marketers are devising more ways to bilk more money out of you, and are employing those strategies right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your wallet. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can bill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with loot crates. Not only am I extensively trained in public relations, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the EA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable wallet of its contents. If only you could see me smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Mat Everett’s genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. But you can’t, you won’t , and so you’ll just have to visualize me sensually rubbing my nipples at the thought of passionately fucking your wallet. I will shit microtansactions all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

And yes, by the way, I DO have a Mass Effect tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for appreciative gamers’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid