“My deeply perverted desire for gator penis once again landed me in hot water. What started as an innocent interest in reptiles grew to an unmanageable lust for all things cold blooded and scaly. I was warned time and time again. Did I listen when they found me licking toads and fondling chamelons? No I did not. I threw caution to the wind and continued my search for the perfect reptilian lover. Sure there were dangers and incompatibilities. But we made it work. In retrospect I wish we took more hygiene precautions and I should have known a snakeskin condom wouldn’t hold up to our rambunctious mud fucking. But in the heat of the moment who dwells upon kidney destroying swamp diseases when they are trying to rub one more out with their dream gator? Thanks for all who have been supportive and screw all those who have turned up their noses at our forbidden love.”